MONTANA

Dear Blog,
 
Start off by saying it was my fault that I committed the cardinal sin of modern society today. I went shopping at CostCo on a Saturday. I think half of Seoul made the commute to be there.

It's two stops up the subway so it's close and a friend described the directions to me. I got the CostCo membership card first and that went pretty well, there were only two working pens for the forms and a couple dozen people so that was a bit of a mess. I made a goofy face for the picture they take and I don't think they clerk thought it was all that humorous. Usually the food court is outside the store back in the States so I decided to grab a slice of pizza before I did any shopping (never on an empty stomach right??) and that's when my life turned into an Escher drawing.

I don't know if I've mentioned it but this is a very fast-paced and pushy society. Check your personal space at the door. Although people are usually pretty friendly, cars will clip you, grandmas especially are feisty will hip check (so knee check to me) if you're in their way, people start walking into elevators before the people riding have gotten off, and you can't walk a block with out someone running past you. This experience was that only magnified, intensified, and surrounded bags of detergent the size of a small child.

 I was worried I wouldn't be able to spot it...

If only the dmv was cool with pics like this.

As usual with large stores it's in a big building but the store itself is almost entirely underground with the higher stores being the parking. I elbowed my way into a spot on the escalator down two or three stories - it was packed and slow moving, I've waited in lines at Disney Land that took less time. Also at this point I got a feeling that told me to turn my ipod to relaxing music, so thanks to Sigur Ros. The escalator went right past/below the food court so I figured I had to double back once I got down to the main shopping floor. I asked a few clerks where to go with ("peeza" + /eating a triangle hand gesture/) and they said to go to the 'check out'. So I wait in another line to go back up a shorter escalator with only one or two minor pushes, cut offs, and 'bows to the back.

THEN I saw the line for check out. It had to be about 50 or 60 yards long by six shopping carts across going through the store and isles at the end of it behind the check out was the food court, maybe costcos are always like that but it looked like an hour+ wait by the body language of the people waiting. Was going to take a picture but I feared being swept under by the current-o-carts. So I used my football knowledge to pick a grandmother with no cart or items making a B line straight ahead and to use her as a blocker to gain positive yardage. I also could have just followed the trail of dead her elbows left behind. Made it past check out to the food court line.

Long story longer there was no way I was doubling back AGAIN and to buy some small (comparatively speaking) items and then waiting in that megaline. So I got a slice (alright two slices) of combo, ate it, fought off only one or two more crowds until I could breath the sweet crisp air of freedom and went on home.

Conclusion: There's just too many people in the world, when I come home I'm moving to Montana.